Then she mentions something about it being a long time since she left Lothering. I know that to sleep with Liliana you need her at 100 approval, which I think is max. When she talks about the birds in the woman's hair you respond with the "Dear Maker!" choice, which I think leads into the "Do you prefer the company of other women choice?" which then leads to "I might giggle and look coy." After that the romance should be started, you get a good amount of approval, and oddly enough I got a few points of approval out of Allister as well (that pig). You need to respond with the one that is like "my hair.um thanks." I think that's the first choice. I don't know what is required for the male PC, but for the female PC I know to start the Leliana romance you need at least +50 approval and then in camp she will bring up a dialogue tree, which is one time only, where she says that she really likes how you wear your hair. As I understand it the options to start the romance and move it to the next level are one time only and need to be answered very specifically, or you can't advance the romance, or get it.
Well this is the first time I have heard of certain dialogue options and the personal quest being closed off if you jack approval too high with gifts, it sounds to me like you might have screwed up in the dialogue tree.
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